When I was a sophomore in college, one of the most talked-about psychology books since the days of William James and Sigmund Freud was published: John Gray’s Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships. The book was an immediate and lasting sensation; it ended selling over 15 million copies and was the best-selling nonfiction book of the 1990s. Gray’s argument was simple: men and women (“the sexes,” to Gray, as opposed to “the genders”) inhabited “different planets,” were accustomed to the environment of their own planet, and thus not familiar with those of the other. It was a seductive argument: all those relationship problems you were having could be blamed on poor communication, which was now, it turns out, was just because we were from different planets. What are you going to do? I’m from Mars, after all; HELP ME UNDERSTAND YOUR STRANGE VENUTIAN WAYS.